For most of us, English is still a challenge.
With all its irregularities, exceptions and rules, it is a very difficult language to master.
It's a great way to review the basics, clarify a few issues and share a laugh or two!
In India, we have over a dozen official languages and countless local dialects. So how does a farmer from Bihar speak with a fisherman from Kerala?
The answer, for now, is 'not easily'.
One day, however, all Indians will use English as a first, second or third language. This will allow them to communicate effectively not only with other Indians, but also the rest of the world.
Of course, getting to that point won't be easy. For most of us, English is still a challenge. With all its irregularities, exceptions and rules, English is a very difficult language to master.
Anjan Santra, a 26 year old software engineer in Bangalore, says she makes the occasional mistake herself. Still, she sent in the following errors:
Wrong: I was not knowing.
This is a common blooper. Your answer should either be, 'I did not know' or 'I was not aware'.
Correct: I was not aware.
Correct: I did not know.
Wrong: I went marketing.
Marketing is selling or advertising a product. What the person means to say is, 'I went shopping.'
Correct: I went shopping.
Wrong: Who threw the ball? It was not me.
'Me' is used when you are the object of a sentence; 'I' is used when you are the subject. In this case, 'I' is the subject and 'ball' is the object.
Correct: Who threw the ball? It was not I.
Wrong: I don't know nothing about it.
The double negative in the example actually flips the meaning. By saying, 'I don't know nothing about it', you are saying that you do know something.
Correct: I don't know anything about it.
Correct: I know nothing about it.
Dorothy Singh, who workes for a fabric manufacturer in Mysore, sent bloopers she has heard at work:
Wrong: Pack the small boxes into large cartoons.
A cartoon is a funny drawing or an animated picture. A carton is a large container or box.
Correct: Pack the small boxes into large cartons.
Wrong: The lady wishes to adapt a child.
Wrong: Children adopt to new surroundings very easily.
There is a tremendous amount of confusion regarding these two words. Adopt means to take as one's own. Adapt means to adjust to something.
Correct: The lady wishes to adopt a child.
Correct: Children adapt to new surroundings very easily.
Wrong: Please call back me.
Wrong: I will call back you.
This is something Dorothy hears almost everyday on the phone.
Correct: Please call me back.
Correct: I will call you back.
Wrong: She wore a lose dress today.
Wrong: Do not loose these papers
These are two more words that are frequently misused. Lose, pronounced with a 'z' sound, means to misplace. It is the opposite of 'find'. Loose, pronounced with an 's' sound, means baggy or ill-fitting. It is the opposite of 'tight'.
Correct: She wore a loose dress today
Correct: Do not lose these papers
Narayan, retired and living in Singapore, sent his comments on the 'Noon versus 12 pm' debate.
I am writing on the present-day common and confusing usage of '12 am' and '12 pm'. I was taught quite rigorously that no such animals exist in correct English usage.
'AM' and 'PM' are abbreviations for 'ante-meridiem' and 'post-meridiem' respectively, with 'meridiem' pertaining to the time when the sun is directly overhead. When the clock is at 12, it is neither 'ante-meridiem' nor is it 'post-meridiem'.
Thus the proper descriptions of the times when the clock is at 12 should be 'noon' and 'midnight' respectively.
One method to avoid ambiguity is give the time in hours from 0-24.
Most North Indians are definitely better in the Hindi language than we are in the English language. Problems arise when we speak English words with a Hindi accent. Look at the the word 'genuine'. The tendency to pronounce this word as 'genine' is incorrect. The twist of the tongue at the right moment is neccesary to pronounce 'u' in the word 'genuine'.
When the word 'cost' is written in the Hindi language, a half moon curve is correctly marked over the the Hindi letter 'Ka'. Therefour, most of us pronounce 'cost' as 'cast' while speaking. Both 'cost' and 'cast' are English words but have entirely different meanings.
Venkat Ramani sent these errors. He says, 'If you find any gaffes in my corrections, blame it on my English teacher!'
Wrong: He is calling to you
The 'to' is not needed in this statment. You could either remove the 'to' or replace it with 'for'.
Correct: He is calling you.
Wrong: Say me the truth!
This is especially prevalent in Andhra Pradesh. It should be 'tell'.
Correct: Tell me the truth
Wrong: The real fact is that you are not married.
This is redundant, because a fact is true or provable. Therefore, all facts are real.
Correct: The fact is that you are not married.
Wrong: Govnerment
Wrong: Agnaist
Wrong: Envornament.
These are common mistakes that can be heard in call centres in Hyderabad. The employees have trouble pronouncing words such as, 'Government', 'Against' and 'Environment'.
Correct: Government
Correct: Against
Correct: Environment
Wrong: Fathers name
Wrong: Martial status
I often come across these common mistakes in resumes or cover letters. 'Fathers name' implies more than one father while 'Martial status' implies military rule.
Correct: Father's name
Correct: Marital status
Ramamurthy Sridhar, from Bangalore, sent these three bloopers.
Wrong: I am having a lovely family.
This type of error is easy to hear in India. We use the present continuous tense in place of the present simple tense.
Correct: I have a lovely family.
Wrong: This vehicle is dead cheap.
When a product is very cheap, a lot of us say it is 'dead cheap'. Actually, the phrase is 'dirt cheap'.
Correct: This vehicle is dirt cheap.
Wrong: It will be a very cut and right report.
The proper phrase is 'cut and dry' or 'cut and dried'. It means that something is settled or routine.
Correct: It will be a very cut and dried report.
Many of us speak one language at home, another with friends and a third at school or office.
But with all this switching and translating, it's easy to make a mistake or two. Here we go, with another round of English Bloopers.
Ashok Bhattacharjee, from Calcutta and working in a MNC, was asked this question:
Wrong: 'You are staying alone and you can cook yourself?'
This problem comes from misplacing 'yourself'. It sounds as if Ashok is eating himself! Instead, the 'yourself' should be placed after 'you'.
Correct: 'You are staying alone and you yourself can cook?'
Yusuf Merchant sent this amusing story from the school-yard.
Wrong: Sports teacher -- 'You two boys understanding the tree drinking cigarettes, call both your fathers.'
First, it should be 'standing under', not 'understanding'. Second, in English, you do not drink cigarettes; you smoke them. This is direct translation from Hindi. Finally, the whole structure is wrong.
Correct: Sports teacher -- 'Both of you standing under the tree and smoking cigarettes, call your fathers.'
Glenn Fernandes, of Mumbai, mentions two errors he has stumbled across in conversation:
Wrong: Take out my ticket
Wrong: I got angry on him
The first is a direct translation of 'mera ticket nikaal' and the second is a translation of 'mein uspe gussa hua'. They should be:
Correct: Buy my ticket.
Correct: I got angry with him.
Shilpa B Acharya, from Bangalore and working with Tata Consultancy Services [Get Quote], sent a lengthy list of helpful tips:
Wrong: When my boss asked me why I came late, I said him that I had to attend a function.
You should use 'told' instead of 'said' in this situation.
Correct: When my boss asked me why I came late, I told him that I had to attend a function.
Wrong: This place is called as the Garden City of India
If you're using the word, 'as', you should use 'known as'.
Correct: This place is known as the Garden City of India
Wrong: I didn't got his mail.
'Didn't' is a contraction of 'did not', which should be followed by the present tense.
Correct: I didn't get his mail.
Wrong: My husband and I went and bought furnitures for our new house.
The word 'furniture' is plural.
Correct: My husband and I went and bought furniture for our new house.
Wrong: He is a MP.
Wrong: He is an Member of Parliament.
Whenever the short form MP (Member of Parliament) is used, we should say, 'He is an MP'. But when the full form is used, we should say, 'He is a Member of Parliament.'
Correct: He is an MP.
Correct: He is a Member of Parliament.
English mistakes can be humorous, annoying or both. One thing is sure, consistent bloopers will make you seem foolish. Eventually, you may even lose confidence in speaking the language.
Therefore, it helps to practise everyday and work on improving even the smallest of gaffes.
Let's get started!
Snehal Roshan, from Mumbai, hates seeing English used so casually and incorrectly. She writes that she has come across these mistakes frequently:
1. I didn't knew her mother when I was young.
If it was affirmative, it would be 'I knew her mother when I was young.' In this case, the negative, past verb 'did not' denotes the past tense, making 'knew' unneeded. It should be:
~ I didn't know her mother when I was young.
2. I prefer studying in the midnight.
3. I prefer studying at the morning.
In the morning, in the afternoon and in the evening all denote a general time. For a specific time, such as noon and night, you must use 'at'. It should be:
~I prefer studying at midnight.
~I prefer studying in the morning.
4. I was excepting a better show.
5. No one showed up to the party, accept Dipti and Rishi.
6. Will you expect my sincere apologies?
These words are often confusing for some people: except, expect and accept. Except is to omit or leave out. Expect is to demand or to count on. Accept means to acknowledge, admit.
~ I was expecting a better show.
~ No one showed up at the party, except Dipti and Rishi.
~ Will you accept my sincere apologies?
7. On what bases can you argue with me?
8. Where are the criminal basis in Mumbai?
Bases and basis essentially, mean the same but it is important to use the right word in the right place. Base is a foundation (as in a building, structure). Basis is also a foundation in terms of a fundamental or principle; it is abstract.
~ On what basis can you argue with me?
~ What are the criminal bases in Mumbai?
Nirpinder Singh, a 51-year-old teacher from Punjab, discovered this howler on a recent business trip. On the thermostat inside his hotel room, a sign read:
9. In case of feeling of Hot or Cold please to control yourself
This is all jumbled and makes no sense! Instead, it should be:
~ In case you find the temperature too hot or too cold, please turn the thermostat switch to the desired setting to regulate the temperature.
The girl next door is as cute as a button, but when she opens her mouth, her English is bad enough to get her sent back to kindergarten! Well, it's a common enough problem today -- almost everyone is mourning the lack of fluency in English among our school and college-going generation, as well as in the new entrants into the work force.
Presented here are a few English bloopers sent in by our readers -- they are good lesson in the English language!
Let's start off with a few common blunders that reader Sunita R Kamath comes across frequently:
1. ~ "It was a blunder mistake."
Correction, people! The word 'blunder' means mistake, so you could say:
~ "It was a blunder," or
~ "It was a big mistake."
2. ~ "It would have been more better."
The word 'better' itself implies that the option in question is superior -- the use of the word 'more' in the sentence is, therefore both inappropriate and unnecessary. Thus the correct sentence would go as follows:
~ "It would have been better."
3. ~ "Why don't he get married?"
The term 'don't' applies when discussing a plural subject. For instance, "Why don't they get married?" The right way to phrase that sentence would be:
~ "Why doesn't he get married?"
4. ~ "I want two Xeroxes of this card."
The term 'Xerox' is used in North American English as a verb. Actually, 'Xerox' is the name of a company that supplies photocopiers! The correct thing to say, therefore, would be:
~ "I want two photocopies of this card."
5. ~ "Your hairs are looking silky today."
This is one of the most common Indian bloopers! The plural of 'hair' is 'hair'! Thus:
~ "Your hair is looking silky today."
Get Ahead reader Nasreen Haque says, "We must realise that English is not the native language of Indians. Having said that, we should tell ourselves, 'Yeah, I could go wrong and I could make innumerable mistakes, but of course there is always room for improvement.'"
Here are a few bloopers Nasreen has across often:
1. ~ Loose vs lose
Many people make this mistake. They inevitably interchange the words 'loose' and 'lose' while writing. 'Lose' means to 'suffer a loss or defeat'. Thus, you would write:
~ 'I don't want to lose you," and not ' don't want to loose you.'
'Loose', on the other hand, means 'not firm' or 'not fitting.' In this context, you would write,
~ "My shirt is loose," not "My shirt is lose."
2. ~ "One of my friend lives in Kolkata."
This is one of the most common Indian English bloopers ever! The correct way of putting that is:
"One of my friends lives in Kolkata."
Why? Because the sentence implies that you have many friends who live in Kolkata, but you are referring to only one of these friends.
3. ~ Tension-inducing tenses.
People often use the wrong tense in their sentences. For instance, someone might say:
~ "I didn't cried when I saw the movie."
Unfortunately, the word 'didn't' is never followed by a past tense verb, in this case 'cried'. The correct way of putting it would be:
~ "I didn't cry when I saw the movie."
If your English is a little faulty and you're looking to polish your language skills, we have just the solution for you. Our readers have sent in all sorts of grammatical grievances they come across regularly, and you can avoid them simply by reading those presented below.
Let's start off with a common mistake that drives Get Ahead reader Saif R Naik up the wall:
~ "I'm going to give an examination."
You don't give an examination, you take one! So what you really should be saying, is:
~ "I'm going to take an examination."
Radhika Augustus wrote in that one of her girlfriends made a big-time booboo while in conversation with her recently. Here's what she said:
~ "The city bus service is highly erotic!"
Well, the word she was looking for was 'erratic', which means lacking in consistency and regularity, and not 'erotic' -- which we all know means sexually arousing! So what she should have said was:
~ "The city bus service is highly erratic!"
Megha Malviya brought a common blooper many folks make to our notice:
~ "I will revert back to you shortly."
The word 'revert' itself means to return to a previous subject or condition, so the insertion of the word 'back' in the sentence is incorrect. The correct thing to say is:
~ "I will revert to you shortly."
Get Ahead reader Sivashankar says, "A common error I hear people making is when they say the word 'anyways' instead of 'anyway'. There is no such word as 'anyways', and the additional 's' is not at all required." He further adds that many folk also tend to pluralise words that are already in plural, such as: 'datas' instead of data, and 'criterias' instead of criteria.
And to wrap things up, here's a hilarious promotional email reader Mike received and forwarded to us:
"Dear Sir,
We are glad to tell you that we are manufacture of disappearing ink pen ttached please check our disappearing ink pen catalogue with pricepictures and other details. Any interested itmes please kindly inform us."
A grammatically correct copy of that mail is presented below:
"Dear Sir,
We are glad to inform you that we are now manufacturing disappearing ink pens. Attached please find our catalogue with prices, pictures, and other details furnished. If you are interested in any of the items, kindly inform us."
Enjoy.... Will come with more info soon...
